Our Baby.

Our ultra sound was a bit scary. I won't lie.

When I went to the ER with the back pain, I was ordered an US the next day. I went in very nervously. Honestly, I was expecting to see nothing. And, I kind of got what I was expecting. There was the yolk sack- but no baby. The US woman (who shall remain nameless but wasn't super friendly OR reassuring!) said "I'm measuring the baby at 6 weeks 2 days. Are you sure you're right about your LMP?". Uh seriously? No, I'm lying. She then followed up with "well, right now I don't see a baby. I know it's frustrating but just try to relax". REALLY!?! Try to "relax" when the baby we've been working so hard for for almost 3 years isn't showing up on your monitor!?

I was TERRIFIED. I told myself that morning sickness was a good thing (even though it sucks. Back me up on this mamas). I told myself that my breasts swelling to the size of China and aching like I've never felt before was terrific. I also was convinced that napping was amazing (although I was convinced of this before hand). But when Monday came, all those confident feelings in my symptoms disappeared. I was no longer sure I was pregnant. What if I just had the flu? What if I had a miscarriage that night and no one knew? 

Going to Dr. P's office is a great time. He has a hilarious sculpture on his desk of a doctor holding 2 babies from a mother who has just given birth- only they are made out of screws. I also noticed he had 3 different shake weights on the floor. We had a pretty good laugh about that as well. The nurse came in and said "well, we're skipping all the tests today and just doing a scan. Because of your trip to the ER, he wants to scan you to make sure everything is where it should be". My fear escalated times a million. Matt was worried too. We had talked about it for the whole week before hand and the whole way to the appointment. Our only concern was that the baby was actually IN there and healthy. 

"Undress from the waist down". A command I'm used to. I sat on the table wrapped in nothing but a thin piece of paper next to my husband and waited for Dr. P. He came in and explained the same thing the nurse did and said "Based on your last ultra sound, there is a 20-25% chance that there is no baby and that this is a bad pregnancy". I can't tell you the agonizing fear that swept over me at that moment. I literally wanted to start bawling right there. I was able to hold it together long enough for the appointment/scan to actually start. And there it was. There was our baby. I heard it's heart beat. I never knew how I would act when I saw my baby for the first time...but all I could do was heave a very heavy sigh of relief. I asked "there's only one in there right?!". Although the idea of twins is amazing, we are just not ready for twins right now! Thankfully, the US proved there to only be one bouncing little peanut and one amazing heart beat. We are very lucky and very grateful.

Baby Colby and it's beautiful heartbeat <3