Out with the old, in with the new!

Well, it's here. Our first *real* try in over 4 months. I'm nervous to tell you the truth. Not because I'm nervous about having a baby in my life (gulp) but because...what if it doesn't work? Again? For the millionth time? What if nothing ever works? There is just so much doubt and so much about this that I can't control that it's killing me. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a control freak. Not so much a PERFECTIONIST control freak...but still, I'm pretty controlling. If I'm not the one in charge of how every little aspect of my life is going, I tend to freak. That's the OCD in me. And this? Well, there is no controlling ones ability to conceive. Sure, you can manage your body and be healthy, but you sure can't control God's timing. It's just not a possibility.

Basal temping. You might say I'm a champ at it. What is basal temping? Well, it's where you wake up every  morning at the same time (even on Saturdays!) and take your temperature before moving (which seems impossible at first...but you get used to it), talking, breathing heavily...basically you're trying to get your temperature as CLOSE to what it is when you're basically sleeping as possible. I'll admit, there have been times when I fall asleep and the beep from my thermometer (Betsy) wakes me up :). Then, you chart your temperature. The fluctuations in temperature can tell you a LOT about your body. They can tell you when you're about to start your period, when you're ovulating and, eventually, if all goes right, when you're pregnant.



This is my chart for January. Since my body  hasn't been regular, I haven't been charting at ALL for a very long time. But, I figured, since things are starting to work, I'd better start charting again. It's so funny how when I started charting, my temps like, suddenly regulated and became NORMAL for the first time ever. Usually they are all over the place. Kind of like they were at the beginning of January. Your basic "saw tooth" (a sign of Liver qi stagnation) but then they just, suddenly evened out and are back to normal! Crazy!

You may be asking yourself "self, where are the temps for the last few days on this chart?" well, let me tell you. The cats. Ate. My thermometer! Yup, they ate it all up soooooo, I had to go buy a new one. I won't lie, there was a little bit of sadness with that thermometer. I bought that thing when we first started trying. Plus, it was purple and my new one isn't. I was mostly sad because it wasn't purple...but whatever. My new one was needing a name and I've decided to name her Lucy. Yes, my thermometers are ALWAYS girl thermometers. Always. What? You don't name yours? Well, ladies and gentlemen, making her blog debut: Lucy.



She came with an ovulation chart but I'm 100% sure I won't be using it. I suppose, I'm going to have to get used to her. She has some awesome features that Betsy didn't have. Like....she remembers the last temperature I take. So, if I wake up and then fall asleep mid temp, I don't have to worry about the temp clearing from the thermometer because it will be there the next time I turn it on!

TTC signs are everywhere in the house now. It's so awesome! I've dug out the "belly book" just in case. We had to remake our entire baby registry (that took us over a YEAR to make!)because it got deleted, there are brand new ovulation tests just waiting to be peed on and, fresh pre seed in the bathroom ready for use. If we're lucky, we won't have to use the preseed but, it all depends on my qi this month. They all seem to be stabilizing except my spleen qi (which was really off to begin with) and, I honestly think it has a lot to do with my diet changes and the amount of vitamin d I've been taking. PLUS I've been loading up on prenatal vitamins which is really helpful. I have a lot of hope in this cycle...but it's cautionary hope. I don't want to go into this cycle with high expectations and not be able to live up to them.