Tracking...again.

We're back to tracking. EVERYTHING. All symptoms all temperatures- ALL of it! I'm even going to start temping in the evening.

Why? It's the start of a new cycle. One that lasted longer than previous and one where I got my hopes up. I thought I was past getting my hopes up...but I guess not. It still happens. 

You know it's funny, I try so hard not to shed a negative light on infertility in my every day life...but there are days when there's a big tug at my heart and my whole body has a heavy sigh. Yesterday was one of those days. I realized this cycle was over. We weren't pregnant. Again. It's the same story every month. I don't cry about it like I used to...but there are days when I see a pregnant woman and jealousy hits. I hear someone complain of morning sickness and being exhausted and I immediately think "yup, they're pregnant before me too. great" and I get bitter about it. I try to tell myself that it will happen for us eventually...but it's just not now. I'm not exactly known for my patience.

Fun times are ahead this weekend. Family is here from Canada. My step sister is graduating high school. My cousins little baby boy is turning 1. Big steps are being taken. It's always fun to witness someone move on to the next part of their life! 

It rained yesterday and it reminded me that all rain storms must come to an end. And, if you're lucky, they end beautifully. 

I will bring you honey
From the bee tree in the meadow
And the first time there’s a rainbow
I’ll bring you a pot of gold

I’ll Pick up all your troublesAnd I’ll throw ‘em in the river
Then I’ll bundle down beside you
And I’ll keep you from the cold
-June and Johnny