I suck at blogging. And my boobs don't work.

It's true. I'd rather spend time with my girl than blogging.

How can I not want to? She's amazing. She's hilarious, cute, sweet, snuggly and moody. I'd say she's pretty much me only a baby :).

Matt and I are doing great. Every day we work a little harder at working together and things go well that way for us. He takes the first shift at night and I take the second. She WAS sleeping through the night but, she reverted back to her old ways a couple of weeks ago and now, we can't get her to sleep more than a few hours at a time. I've found that I have to be more trusting of others to take care of her. Although, no one will take care of her the way Matt and I do. 

For the past few weeks, every time I fed Layla a bottle, I felt bad. I wanted so badly to feed her breast milk, but, even with pumping every 2-3 hours, taking Fenugreek and drinking Mothers Milk tea a million times a day, I simply wasn't making enough to feed her. As frustrating as it was, I reluctantly gave her formula and here we are today. I still struggle with that reality. But, I can't change it. Tonight, I looked up "Formula Feeding" on Pinterest to find a little support and almost everything I saw was anti formula feeding. One thing said "Formula Fed babies have a 500% more chance of child hood obesity" another said "The risks of formula feeding: what you don't know". Am I taking a risk by feeding Layla all that I have? I mean, my body chose to dry up all my milk. Try as I might, none came back. Here's a terrific quote. If you formula feed and don't already feel like crap about that decision, this should do it for you:

“When we trust the makers of baby formula more than we do our own ability to nourish our babies, we lose a chance to claim an aspect of our power as women. Thinking that baby formula is as good as breast milk is believing that thirty years of technology is superior to three million years of nature’s evolution. Countless women have regained trust in their bodies through nursing their children, even if they weren’t sure at first that they could do it. It is an act of female power, and I think of it as feminism in its purest form.” 
—– Christine Northrup M.D.

I'm less of a woman because I formula feed my child. Fantastic. I love my girl and will do anything for her. I tried SO hard to breast feed her but, I had no choice. So, formula feeding moms, here's your support: don't fret. You're giving your baby nutrition. You're STILL doing a good job even if your boobs don't work or, you don't WANT to breast feed (yes, some moms make the choice not to breast feed at all. And guess what? They aren't terrible people! Hard to imagine, I know, but it's true!). Your baby still loves you, no doubt, and you still love your babe. Being able to care for your child in the best way possible is all that matters and you are doing JUST that. Keep up the good work- your baby will thank you for feeding them one day.

People often complain about parents who brag about their children. The endless photos on Facebook. Well, this is me complaining about you bragging about your boobs. Lay off.

Meanwhile, Layla has found her feet, she FINALLY grabbed the giraffe on her bouncy seat and she's started to learn how to giggle. I gotta tell you, hearing her giggle makes me INSANELY happy! Like, seriously, I've never felt so much happiness as when I made her laugh for the first time. I've only been able to get a couple laughs out of her but seriously, best thing ever! This week, we also learned that Layla is NOT a fan of Nystatin. She has thrush, which is a major bummer for her. It bothers her mouth to eat. Well, if you've never had to give your kid this medicine, it smells like artificial bananas. omg it's so freakin disgusting. I feel so bad for her. She's kind of a drama queen about it but, she eventually gets the whole dose down and I swab her mouth with a qtip full after. SO nasty! 

So yeah, I end this blog with me bragging about my kid :). And I don't care who knows it!